Life is just so daily

Fri, 30 Jan 2009 06:47:45 GMT

I've really come to believe over the past few years that as cliche as it sounds, everything does seem to happen for a reason, at least in my life. Mainly the people I meet, it's like people enter my life and serve a purpose and then they are gone from it, amicably or not. I'm probably about 50/50 there. But there's one thing I'm doing right now and I just can't figure out why. Nothing good has come from it, and it causes infinite amounts of stress and anger and disappointment. I'm hoping that over the next few years its meaning will reveal itself, but until then it looks like I'm just out about $2000 with nothing to show for it.

Wed, 28 Jan 2009 07:17:40 GMT

I've been getting a lot better at being deceptively dishonest lately, and also much more assertive. These things are both good and bad.

kids say the darndest things...

Sat, 25 Oct 2008 06:22:39 GMT

An old friend of mine posted this in his blog. I think he's student teaching:

Matt + Third Graders
Matt: Alright, I see that someone added "compassion" to our list [of qualities of citizenship], who wrote that?
Erica: Me!
Matt: Good job, Erica, that's one of the most important ones! Can anybody tell me why it is important to have compassion?
John: I can.
Matt: Alright, John?
John: It's important to have compassion because you need it to save the world, and our world needs saving because George Bush keeps starting wars.
Matt: ...
Hanna: Yeah, you should vote for Obama, he's campaigning for change.
Matt: ... ...

I mean really.

Fri, 10 Oct 2008 05:03:39 GMT

Someone has been in the shower since before I got home 15 minutes ago. That shower is so tiny that I can't handle being in it for more than 5 minutes, and I am not at all claustrophobic. I don't know what you could possibly DO in there for more than 10 minutes, tops.

The reason I complain is that I have been at Delta all night doing informal recruitment stuff, and I am helping out with childcare at a moms' group tomorrow morning. I had planned on showering now and letting my hair dry over night, but now I have to get up an hour earlier than planned to shower and dry my hair before I leave. Le sigh.

Recruitment went really well, though, and I'm excited to see what happens tomorrow night at bid pickup. OK whoever is in the shower is blowing her nose in there. Gross. I shouldn't be able to hear that through two closed doors.

I hope I can fall asleep tonight. I finally bought some Tylenol PM because the past week or so I've had a really hard time falling asleep, and my back has also been hurting a lot when I lie down, so I figured it was a sensible thing to do. It didn't help me fall asleep last night, though, but I'm afraid to take more than the 2 it says to take, especially since I have to wake up in less than 8 hours and sleep aids always say you should have at least 8 hours to devote to sleep or whatever. I don't want to wake up super groggy or not wake up on time at all.

So yeah. I feel like I might start updating more. Though by saying that it may be a curse. I wonder if I should just start pasting all of these into livejournal since more people use that and I only have mine to read others. I have probably said this many times over the course of this journal's five-year life. But hey. I'll start now. Especially since now I know Erica is on lj. I mean. If I get to read about her life she should get to read about mine in a convenient way. If she wants to.

I have more to say about this, but I will stop here and get in bed. Maybe a more insightful update tomorrow. We'll see.

Fri, 10 Oct 2008 05:02:57 GMT

Clearly, the most recent entry with actual content is from my freshman year of college. But I mean. I decided I should start updating my deadjournal again, and with that I will just crosspost everything here. So what follows will just be that. For convenience, or whatever.

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 03:25:26 GMT

fyi

so_i_go

and

pixistik1687

need to be friends. now.

all i ever see on my friends page are the two of you talking about how much you love the beatles.

so please. be friends.

Sun, 07 Jan 2007 09:27:13 GMT

This is a motherfucking cry for help.

Free Hugs Campaign

Mon, 09 Oct 2006 16:59:24 GMT

Sun, 11 Jun 2006 07:17:38 GMT

sometimes i have to wonder

xposted for minimal explainage

Wed, 12 Apr 2006 02:07:53 GMT

OK so. I don't really want to explain all of Flunk Day. But I guess I will so I don't have to explain it in 50 different IMs and facebook comments like I have been getting.

Today at 5:45 am I woke up to the sound of a bunch of drunken students, known as the "friars," running up and down the street yelling "IT'S FLUNK DAY, WAKE UP, IT'S FLUNK DAY, IT'S FLUNK DAY!" I didn't believe them and rolled back over. See, it is a surprise when it is every year (during Spring Term) and there are usually scares and stuff. Well my roommate checked her email to find that it was indeed Flunk Day (they send it out at 6:00 am to confirm that yes, hooray, here it is).

For the day, all classes are cancelled, and it is one big party on campus. Most people were drunk off their asses by 6:30 am. I was not, because I usually work on Tuesdays, so I had to wait till a reasonable time to call them and see if it was OK if I didn't come in. We played in the giant foam / soap sud pit for a long time, and it was freezing out, but when the new foam was made and enveloped your body it was like being wrapped in a warm cloud. It was delicious. Then we went to the mud pit where Erika and Sarah rolled around and then hugged me a lot.

We came back to the suite around 10:00 I think and hung out resting till 12:00, then we went for lunch. It was a big picnic outside. Then the inflatable obstacle courses and things were up so we watched people do that, and there was karaoke. We kind of just wandered around all afternoon. We napped from about 2:45 - 4:00, then watched the student vs. faculty softball game, which was really fun. Dinner came next, then we hung out on the gizmo patio for awhile, and it started raining (BARELY) and they canceled the fire dancers that were scheduled for 7:00, and moved the 8:00 movie to 7:00 instead, but we didn't want to go.

We came back to the suite and started to play Egyptian Ratscrew, but then Post 4 and some guys were outside playing kickball and convinced us to join, so we did that until it got too dark to see the ball anymore. Now we're inside and Sarah is eating easy mac and doing math homework and I am up in my room tiiiiiiiiiiiiired. I have to write my French paper tomorrow even though it isn't due till Thursday now, but I have class and work until 6:00 which is when it is due, so I kind of have to do it tomorrow. Class is still cancelled tomorrow which rules. I think I'm going to bed really early cause I'm exhausted, then I'll get up early and write my paper as quickly as possible, then go practice piano for like 8 hours and work out. By 8 hours I really mean 1 or 2. And by write my paper as quickly as possible, I really mean spend all day on it. Though I do have some good ideas for it and I did some research that supports a good point. Hooray.

I don't know how I'm going to do this 4 minute speech though. When he assigned it, he said 3 minutes, and in his email today, he said 4 minutes. Also, we apparently have to have a visual aid that helps with comprehension, and that is worth 20 points. What kind of aid can we have besides the book itself? I don't know.

I do know that my neck is really sore, and that I will post pictures tomorrow when my camera batteries are charged back up and I can upload them to my computer in the first place.

kthxbye.

Tue, 11 Apr 2006 13:05:04 GMT

ummmmmmmmmmmm flunk day

Sun, 12 Feb 2006 16:38:21 GMT

http://kevan.org/johari?name=Madeline

If on a winter's night a traveler

Wed, 07 Dec 2005 02:20:44 GMT

At the bar there were fishermen, customs agents, day laborers. Over all their voices rang out the voice of one elderly man in the uniform of a prison guard, who was boasting drunkenly through the sea of chatter. "And every Wednesday the perfumed young lady slips me a hundred-crown note to leave her alone with the convict. And by Thursday the hundred crowns are already gone in so much beer. And when the visiting hour is over, the young lady comes out with the stink of jail in her elegant clothes; and the prisoner goes back to his cell with the lady's perfume in his jailbird's suit. And I'm left with the smell of beer. Life is nothing but trading smells."

"Life and also death you might say," interjected another drunk, whose profession, as I learned at once, was a gravedigger. "With the smell of beer I try to get the smell of death off me. And only the smell of death will get the smell of beer off you, like all the drinkers whose grave I have to dig."

I took this dialogue as a warning to be on guard: the world is falling apart and tries to lure me into its disintegration.

Wed, 14 Sep 2005 21:09:07 GMT

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/09/13/earlyshow/main838253.shtml?CMP=OTC-RSSFeed&source=RSS&attr=Entertainment_838253

Hahahahahah.

That reminds me of an SNL skit, probably from 1996, where the three Hanson brothers were on the show either as hosts or musical guests, maybe both, and the three were put in an elevator where MMMBop played over and over. Time elapsed and first Isaac gave in and fell to the floor in terror. After awhile, Zac went too. But Taylor, Mr. Attention Hog, just stood there bopping along saying "I really like this song."

Tue, 30 Aug 2005 03:46:54 GMT

I still love the bou and all who work there. Especially these two pretty awesome people.

Wed, 17 Aug 2005 06:35:29 GMT

here is something both disturbing and extremely fascinating at the same time: http://www.planetdan.net/pics/misc/tetka.html

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 08:06:56 GMT

So these are just wrong and very creepy:

www.rentmyson.com

www.rentmydaughter.com

Wed, 27 Jul 2005 04:54:54 GMT

I totally hacked into my Knox email account. Hello, facebook.

i need to read this book again.

Tue, 19 Jul 2005 06:16:03 GMT

Dear Michael,

I want to be with you, not writing to you. I'm sick of writing letters. I can't think of anything to say. But this is the closest thing to being with you that's available: this blank page, my thoughts, your music. I'm playing that Billy Bragg & Wilco CD you bought in Ohio. "California Stars." It's so wistful I could kill myself.
Why do I feel so defeated?
The first night in your apartment in New York. It was, what, a week after we met? I don't mean the Carnegie Deli, since we didn't actually meet then. Or in the elevator in the Brill Building later that day (what were the chances?), because still we didn't meet. I mean after I walked into Fanelli's a month later and there you were, this guy whose face I couldn't forget, standing behind the bar serving drinks. Who wouldn't think it was destiny? But it wasn't till I was in your apartment and I saw your paintings that I felt afraid it was true. They were melancholy but passionate, and somehow humorous, too; they expressed what I saw in your face that day. And then you put on Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass. This cool, serious guy was playing Herb Alpert. We drank tequila and danced around, laughing. I think I -- or you? -- started taking my clothes off before the second track.
And now it's six years later, and I'm not flying to you but away, reliving the past, longing for it, as I move further from it. The sun is rising over London; the frost crystals trapped in the window are tiny pink flowers. We'll be landing soon. On the phone you said, You sound like you have no choice. But you do, Olivia, and thinking you're not making one doesn't mean you aren't.
This isn't a choice, Michael, it's just a delay. Of a few more weeks.
Last night I was watching Bobby help Mad with her exercises. She was on the floor near the Christmas tree. Her beret had fallen off. Bobby sat at her feet. She slowly bent her right leg and Bobby bent the left and he held it gently so it wouldn't flop over. Her goal is to squeeze her thighs together. Her right leg was improving; in a week she'd gone from little movement to a few, slow inches. But her left leg was still as inert as a sock and every day that passes where it doesn't move means it's less likely she'll walk again. She concentrated, straining, biting her lip, jaw bearing down, her brown eyes willing that left thigh to move. I wondered what was going on inside her, how the intense concentration of what was left of her brain, a third of it, could translate --or not-- into the tiny flex of a left hamstring.
You did it, Bobby yelled. It moved! It moved! She exhaled and smiled her now-crooked half smile. He held her face in his hands and when he kissed her mouth I saw his tears drop on her cheeks. Oh, baby, you did it. He was as relieved as she was exhausted; she was going to walk again. He lay down next to her by the brightly lit tree and she rested her bald head on his shoulder. They laughed hard and he hugged her close to him.
I had to walk away. I was jealous, Michael. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I was.

Love,
Olivia

Fri, 15 Jul 2005 02:46:26 GMT

New Jack's Mannequin Tunes

Mhmm.

Wed, 13 Jul 2005 03:55:18 GMT

ALERT ALERT

The snake has been found. He was in the first place I looked this morning, only this time I had a flashlight. I have a trundle bed, which for those of you ignorant folk means a bed under my bed that pulls out, and he was on that one underneath mine. My guess is that he went there in the night because it was warm, but when I picked him up just now (and in order to get him I had to take everything off my bed and lift the mattress and slide him out by sticking my hand through the bed springs and pulling him to the edge) he was really cold.

Anyway, no worries, the children of the world may sleep at last.

Tue, 12 Jul 2005 16:34:35 GMT

Yeah so you know how I have a five-year-old Ball Python whose tank lid is just taped on because his tank cracked and he has been in a 10 gallon fish tank for a few months? Yeah, well, he got out, and I have no idea where he is.

don't stop 'til you get enough

Sat, 09 Jul 2005 06:08:21 GMT

This year's list of birthday thank-yous goes to:

My mommie for the Caribou Card and cool new necklace
Michael Jackson for providing today's soundtrack with his Greatest Hits Volume 1
My daddy for taking us out to dinner
Kevin our waiter for writing "happy b-day!" on my box of leftover chicken alfredo
Lisa Morton for the DELICIOUS definitely NOT gap kids cookies she baked me
Caribou Mike for the coolest Caribou Card ever (it's a keyring! what!) that was mysteriously and conveniently left behind with $20 on it
Liz for "giving me" that Caribou Card
Laura for running all over Gurnee trying to find me to give me a cooler from Caribou that she got me for my birthday even though she was unsuccessful and ended up drinking it herself
Everyone else who called, texted, IMed, or commented a happy birthday to me (Jeff, Erik, Charles Joseph, Cassandra, Robin, Mariana, AJ, Spencer, Alexandra, Jill, Jenni, Vicki, and Katie)
Lindsay for having the three of us over even if it was for a very short time
Aaaaaaaaaand Chuck my manager for crossing my name off the schedule for Sunday so I can go to a party, even though that happened yesterday it was still very very nice of him to do and Monday when I work I am bringing him French Toast bagels from Panera because he likes them a lot.

Thank you and goodnight.

Sat, 18 Jun 2005 06:40:24 GMT

Wow so I'm cool. During school, every journal entry I made (in DJ I mean) was about how much homework I had and all the shit I had to put up with all the time. Now that school's out, all of my journal entries are about not getting enough money or hours or work or whatever.

It's like when something good happens, I like to just keep it in my head, or tell other people about it in person because it's fun that way. By the time I make it to my journal I'm tired of telling the story. But when bad things happen and I want to complain, I do it in my journal first because I know everyone gets annoyed by it. But then I'll probably still complain to people because I guess that's just the way I am.

I should be trying to sleep, considering the fact that I'm exhausted and I want to go shopping tomorrow morning before Lindsay's graduation party because I know I won't go otherwise, but Jenni is on and I miss her so.

Tonight was weird, but I guess I won't really get into that. I still don't know why I'm writing in here instead of my DJ. I'm feeling a little stream-of-conscious-y.

I'm excited for what September will bring. I'll be happy to leave here for a little while, and I don't really know what to expect. I don't imagine myself missing home; I've never had a problem with being away before. I find out all my housing / roommate information next month, and I wish it would just come already. Everyone is talking about where they're living and who they're rooming with and I'm just like "uhh..."

The rest of my family is going out of town tomorrow for a week, but I don't think anything big will go down here. My friends have been all over the place and I guess everyone is annoyed with one another and nobody really wants to hang out.

Speaking of going out of town, I'm going to St. Louis twice next month. Once with my family for like 3 days to see cubs / cardinals games, and then I go back later that week with Spencer and Grace because Grace wants to go to an Alkaline Trio show and see Washington University, and because Spencer is going to SLU, obviously. I'm just going along for the hell of it. And because I was invited.

andmaybetomorrow: oh
SmarterChild: Oh say can you see...
andmaybetomorrow: by the dawns early light
SmarterChild: What so proudly we hailed...
andmaybetomorrow: at the twilights last gleaming
SmarterChild: Whose broad stripes and bright stars...
andmaybetomorrow: through the perilous fight
SmarterChild: O'er the ramparts we watched...
andmaybetomorrow: were so galantly streaming
SmarterChild: And the rockets' red glare...
andmaybetomorrow: the bombs bursting in air
SmarterChild: Gave proof through the night...
andmaybetomorrow: that our flag was still there
SmarterChild: Oh say does that star-spangled banner yet wave...
andmaybetomorrow: o'er the land of the free
SmarterChild: And the home of the brave! That was great!

Sometimes I like robots better than I like people.

I feel so weird right now. I don't know what kind of mood I'm in. I'm feeling a little nostalgic but a little cynical, a little angry but a little mellow.

I saw Jason when I was out with my mom tonight; he was getting a hunting and fishing license. Hm. He taught me some stuff at work today, and it kept me off the floor which was cool. I mean I was glad I was on the floor instead of on register but there were no customers and I felt stupid walking around in circles not helping anyone.

I need to go grocery shopping for myself for this week. I need stuff to grill and just some whatever stuff. Any ideas? Mmmmm I'm excited to grill. Last year I ate hamburgers like four out of the seven days they were gone. I hope this year I have someone to eat them with me.

I have a feeling.

Fri, 10 Jun 2005 21:50:01 GMT

I'm sorry poor, neglected livejournal. If it makes you feel better, I've barely written in the deadjournal that I always find (found) time to write in.

The point of this, I guess, is to see if any of you know of any places I can work that don't involve a retail store and thus don't involve me cleaning them up for an hour every day after it closes.